You’ll never know what you have until you’ve lost it, or her/them, in the case of romantic relationships. After everything has been said and done, it may take quite a while but there may come a time when you suddenly realize that what you had was something worth saving and that you can’t live without them in your life.
Unfortunately, real life does not happen like in the movies. Sometimes, getting someone back into your life takes more than showing up on their doorstep with ten dozens of roses in your hand, especially if you had a particularly bad breakup.
In this article, we share practical tips on how to win your ex back. Check them out.
1. Be honest with yourself.
Before making a move and thinking of ways on how to win their heart back, evaluate how you truly feel by asking yourself the following questions.
- Why do you want to get back with your ex?
- Do you want them back because you love them or are you just heartbroken?
- Do you miss them or just the feeling of having a girlfriend?
- Why didn’t it work the first time?
- Have you or your ex grown after the breakup?
- Do you think you are better off without them and vice-versa?
- What will you do differently to make this possible second chance work?
- Are you truly willing to forgive and forget?
Knowing how you feel and what you really want is a crucial step. Fresh from a breakup, you could be struggling with an overwhelming rush of emotions. You’re confused and all you want to do is end all the negative feelings and have everything go back to the way they used to just because it feels lonely and different at first. However, if you give yourself space and time to process your emotions, you’ll know the best thing for both of you, whether that means getting back with them or learning to let go.
2. Work out your personal issues and differences.
The breakup happened because things didn’t work out between the two of you. Sometimes, no matter how much you love each other, if the other person sees that you’re not seeing eye to eye on important aspects of your relationship, even the sweetest idea on how to win them back won’t do the trick.
Take a step back and recall the reasons that ended your relationship. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, but little by little, work on the things that you can. Did she hate that you were always late, glued to your phone, lack affection, forget special dates? Or is it the big things, like serious commitment issues, financial instability, lack of future plans? Address these real issues first. Acknowledge if it was your fault with a heartfelt sorry. Ordering a gorgeous apology flower arrangement for them will also up your chances.
3.Build your friendship back.
Friendship is the best foundation for any kind of relationship. It would be weird to pick up the pieces and be all sweet and cuddly again after a bad breakup or if you’ve done or said things that were hurtful to each other.
Take baby steps and get to know each other by starting out as friends. You may have outgrown each other while you were together and spending quality time as friends doing things you both enjoy or taking adventures you’ve never done before without the pressure of a full-blown relationship can pave the way to rekindle your love and make you things about the beautiful things that have drawn you to each other in the first place.
4. Do sweet but sincere gestures.
Most of the time, it’s the little things that matter. It could be sending them a pretty pick-me-up flower bouquet when they're feeling blue, or surprising them with exquisite orchids or a decadent self-care gift box just because. Cooking or bringing take-out when they've got their hands full because of work. Showing up when they need someone to hang out with, listen to what they have to say, or to take care of them when they're under the weather. At the end of the day, these sweet but sincere gestures would weigh more in their heart than empty grand gestures that are meant to show off.
5. Be patient. Love takes time.
Everything worth having is worth waiting for. Winning their heart back and making them believe that what you have is worth another try may take more time and effort than you imagine. Be patient with them. They may still be healing and reeling from your breakup or they may want to practice more self-love first.
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